In “The Female Eunuch” Germaine Greer quotes from Maslow saying that an attainable ideal of love would exist between self-realising personalities. It is a good ideal in any form in my view (married or otherwise) but the vast majority of people are not capable of it. They might be able to conceive of it or be inspired by it but not capable of living it. Most live in delusion. For some, having someone is more important than who the someone is. Greer says that egotism, exploitation, deception, obsession and addiction have more place in us than eroticism, joy, generosity and spontaneity. I agree with her.

She also says: “Love is not possible between inferior and superior, because the base cannot free their love from selfish interest, either as the desire for security, or social advantage, and, being lesser, they themselves cannot comprehend the faculties in the superior which are worthy of love. The superior being on the other hand cannot demean himself by love for an inferior; his feeling must be tinged with condescension or else partake of perversion and a deliberate self-abasement.”

Love is not possible in this way? I don’t know. I think some kind of love is possible but probably it would be of an imbalanced kind and not therefore represent the ideal which must have its basis in reciprocity. She also uses the terms inferior and superior which currently have unfortunate connotations. But I still agree with the essence of what she says.