•THAT I always walk. Particularly with women. I’m so sooner in an embrace than I’m planning an out. I’ve always done that even as a boy, even when I really liked the girl.

•THAT I play so hard to get. I didn’t even know I was doing that at first. I had to be told - in the English class to be precise by the girl who sat behind me. I was thirteen years old.

•THAT I would appear to need certain qualities in a woman. She has to be something in the world, able to look after herself, be emotionally stable and not self-consumed. She would be broadly intelligent, and not least of all, there has to be a sexual connection. Above all she understands, she is a soulmate.

•THAT I regard most women as unprepared to make a first, unambiguous move. They may want to but are either unable to summon the courage or unprepared to risk losing face. Most of those who would, invariably do so because something is wrong. Chances of hooking up with the right person are slim indeed.

•THAT I seem to need a higher resolution - not just relationships. I need to have life on terms other than the norm. Is that ridiculous? Is my expectation too high? Or do I simply and consistently turn up the wrong things?

•THAT though I’m reluctant to admit it, my boredom threshold is low. It probably always was but I was brought up around people who took what they got and accepted it. The dissatisfaction implicit with boredom wasn’t allowed. But maybe it’s ok to be bored with stuff. In another way it may just be about being particular about choices.

•THAT I tend to be the ‘container’ rather than the ‘contained’. That is, I am invariably the leader. Even when it’s not official. Not that I don’t want this. I’m quite comfortable in the role. Just that sometimes I would like to be contained but I rarely know anyone who I respect or trust enough. And the ‘container’ has to be trusted.