It’s a simple observation that if you make people feel comfortable they will generally like that. They will probably like you and perform better in whatever the situation. If someone makes me feel comfortable I will go the extra mile for the shared enterprise. The opposite is true. Make me feel uncomfortable and I’ll tend to shut down. My contribution will be minimal and disinterested.

It’s amazing how most people appear not to have sussed this. Or if they have they are terribly bad at applying it. I’ve often been astonished at the utter disregard people have for the feelings of others in a whole variety of situations. In my own case, as a consequence they have got from me a fraction of what they could have had they manipulated me better.

And I have no problem with manipulation. Manipulate someone in a good way that makes them feel better and in return has them performing better for you as well as themselves is all good in my book. The absolute lack of skill that people in general have in this department is curious to say the least.