When Margaret Thatcher made her famous remark about there being no such thing as society, that was only half the sentence. The other half mentioned individuals and their families. Individuals and families that is. It is something that stuck with me and over time lead me to consider that family life is little more than a species of individualism.

I notice that within families people tend not to moderate their behaviour much. They are likely to behave in an immature way. It’s as if within a family environment people get reduced to their most basic individual selves. This can happen even years after siblings have left the fold. The family scene can quickly reduce them to children again.

Behaviour within families is unreconstructed compared to in a broader community where a person has to modify to fit. A person in society has to rise to the occasion and consequently grow out of themselves into something more than they would otherwise be. Family life often does not foster such a thing. If anything it impedes it reducing individuals to something less than their potential.

It seems to me that families are too much talked of in a sanctified way, as if family is a moral matter. It’s as if being committed to family life is sufficient evidence for having good values. I doubt if it ever is. Today’s individual recognises little responsibility toward some greater idea outside of himself and that is not much of a moral position. Unfortunately the contemporary family situation encourages this. It does so while pretending to be morally elevated. It masquerades as being about commitment, community and raised values. I don’t see that. To me that is only a gloss put on something that is merely an extension of the individualistic impulse as Thatcher’s remark implied.

It has a function family life. It’s the only way we’ve been able so far to evolve a social system for raising children and structuring committed relationships. I think it’s a poor attempt. I think it breeds people not fit for the wider world of society. Unfortunately until something better comes along, we’re stuck with it.