I remember a lecturer saying that the work of most thinkers could be set out in a paragraph and that the rest of their case was just rhetoric for the sake of argument.

I wondered if the thought of the great philosophers could be further reduced to a single sentence like this:

1. •NIETZSCHE: There are no objective values.
   

2. •HEGEL: Things exist in relation to other things not in themselves.
   

3. •MARX: Societies are built from the bottom up.
   

4. •SCHOPENHAUER: God must be an asshole.
   

5. •HUME: There are no absolutes.
   

6. •DESCARTES: I think therefore I am.
   

7. •WITTGENSTEIN: Most philosophical problems are language problems so shut up.
   

8. •RUSSELL: 1+1 may not equal 2 after all.
   

9. •PLATO & KANT: True reality is transcendent.
   

10. •THE BHUDDA: Craving is the source of suffering.
    

11. •JESUS CHRIST: Have faith and be compassionate.
    

12. •SARTRE: Humans freely choose, unfortunately.