From fairly early on in adult life I needed solitude in order to have clarity of thought, whether thoughts about me, others or the world. But like most, my life was defined by other people in that I was deeply dug in to the myriad: to friendships, partnerships, social and work activity and all. And quite successfully so. I was the antithesis of a loner. This was such that I would eventually hanker for moments when I didn’t have to be somewhere to fulfil some commitment or other and could be alone to think.

As time went on I felt participation to be too much about playing a role. To use modern parlance I began to suffer from obligation overload. Eventually I became especially resistant to simply being an item in other people’s agenda - professional, social, emotional or whatever. I worked toward achieving as much independence as possible in every arena and in large part succeeded there too. I am now as self-determined a person as I know.

Although this would probably be considered a strength like everything else it has its downside. My career now suffers from lack of connection. The old networks I had were inadequate but at least they existed. Now I have none and generating new ones seems like an impossible task. From worldly success contact comes anyway if you want it. But you need that contact for success. That’s a circle I am now unable to square.