There are ownership issues in all aspects of life - ‘my house’, ‘my car’, ‘my stuff’. They find their way into relationships: ‘my husband’ and ‘my wife’, ‘my son, daughter’ or ‘a friend of mine’, all said like people are owned like stuff. This means that so many relations are very much bound up in the defining of boundaries: what’s mine, what’s yours, who’s in, who’s out.

This feels like it is somehow basic to existence but I think that it’s a mindset, a conditioned mindset which doesn’t have to be that way. Although true, that when you adopt a mindset it easily becomes pervasive and hard to shift, it’s still not permanently etched. All mindsets can be hard to shift but are shiftable nevertheless.

And okay, conceded that some things need to be excluded and people need protection against violation. But when exclusivity becomes near ontological, rather than just a process with a job to do (protection), it is time to seek change in the mindset for it has started to overextend itself.