Exclusivity in relationships seems to me to be more about the negative rather than the positive. I mean it is more about protecting interests before celebrating connection.

It is understandable. Historically it has been in men’s interest to guarantee paternity. Exclusivity aided their case. For a woman she gained access to the security provided by the man.

Then there’s the emotional side. If there were loose boundaries around sex, if there were relaxed rules around what may and may not be done, the lack of emotional maturity in human nature generally would make that too tough a call. Most men and women would crumble under the uncertainty of it all.

The consequence of heavily rule-bound relationships based on insecurity is that over time they loose their vitality. The ones that work peacefully are often bland in the extreme, devoid of challenge, growth and uplift. The rest just don’t work terribly well at all beyond utility.

Maybe the rare exception in favour of exclusivity is when there is a special compatibility there between the individuals. That would be when there is a union of equals, where the bond is based on strength of character rather than weakness. This is so very unusual it hardly applies. It just isn’t considered an option. I believe the consequence of this for how things are in the world is palpable.