Elizabeth Wurtzell in one of her books said that motherhood was the happy ending. She was referring to the fact that when it’s all done, when all the obsessive relationships, the failed careers and shattered dreams of early adulthood in a young woman’s life are over she can always turn to being a mother for a sense of her own worth. Wurtzell says this in a tone that implies regret.

G.B. Shaw also remarked on this, also not in a positive way. He suggested the phenomenon was in some way detrimental to a woman’s progress, that somehow this fall-back position to motherhood would inhibit her potential for success in the world. In other words, this second bite of the cherry, not available in general to men, was not a good thing.

I think the contemporary view would be that it is a good thing. In the current, have-it-all world, a woman can and does do both. If one fails she’s always got the other. Many women I knew are now mothers. They come over like it doesn’t matter anymore, all the striving, almost like now they’re doing what’s really important and the rest can fuck off. This is tragic. My feeling is that motherhood is always restrictive for a woman whatever its psycho-bioloigcal benefits. It commits her to a set of circumstances that will take more from her than they will bring. All she will have contributed to the world is another person, a person who will eventually leave her for more important things. If she tries to do both career and motherhood she will almost by definition not do either to full capacity and consequently not as well as if she did either one or the other.

I agree with Wurtzell. And Shaw. Motherhood may be a happy ending of sorts but not necessarily good for women or the world.