I’d say there have been few experiences in my life that don’t fall into the category I’d call ‘zero sum’. I mean by this that when I venture forward with people initiatives and pursue things with mutual interest, I find that soon I’m met with resistance equal to the force of the initial drive. When so, the experience can then go from something positive with good potential to something that feels overly difficult.

I suppose there are many ways to look at this. Maybe it is simply the way creative life is: i.e. hard. Maybe the situations I go for are ill-chosen. Maybe my darker side feels for adversity and seeks out things which will service that. Maybe I believe that things shouldn’t be easy and I unconsciously create hardship. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Whatever the reason, this is the ‘zero sum’: hope and positivity cancelled out by adversity resulting in nothing worthwhile. It has been my experience too often. I’m not at all suggesting that initiative might be adversity-free. It’s all in the degree. The balance has to be in credit like a financial statement for it to be worth the effort, for there to be good value in a life lived. If it’s a deficit balance or on the zero mark it’s bad. I have spent too much time in this place.