Men are often criticised for compartmentalising. This is in contrast to women who are supposed to be more holistic with their emotions. The typical criticism of men often comes from women unable to make satisfactory relationships with said men. Such men might typically separate love from sex. They might find satisfaction from sex in itself free of any commitment. These men might be perfectly capable of de-coupling love, partnerships, exclusive relationships, marriage, and all the social arrangements associated with family life.

My remarks here are about women though, being more interested in them than I am men. I rather think they at base aren't much different to men and can when they choose compartmentalise as well as blokes. But they choose not to. Itself this may be something that has been culturally entrenched through the historical fact of a woman's legitimacy being 'given' to her through attachment to a man. The connection with that man would come to mean much more than it otherwise would. Her social position depended on it and as such a greater emotional investment was likely to be made in her male pairing. Identity for a woman was too much tied up with the man.

Such conventions were forced upon women down the centuries. Now within a couple of generations they are being reassessed and it is now possible for women to find a measure of independence should they choose it. In theory they can come to relationships with men on a more equal footing. They too can treat sex as just sex if they want to.

Yet despite this opportunity, and despite appearances to the contrary, most women seem still to go for the traditional relationship dynamic where possible with all its attendant practices. Even after years of education, apparent independence and career development they revert to type. This is a great disappointment to me, a man who has craved relationship on a reciprocal basis and always been frustrated by an endless stream of Cinderellas.

As for putting things into boxes in the mind - compartmentalising in the jargon - it is one of the ways the human psyche works. It is a form of rationalising and basic to how we understand the world. It is necessary for mental health to group things in isolation and deal with one matter at a time. Integration follows thereafter. Without that process, overload would be commonplace and the mind would malfunction. Women are every bit as good at it as men when they have to be.