I used to think I was quite good at getting what I wanted. As far as I could see, other people took what they were offered but I tried to do my own thing.

Looking back, maybe I wasn't so good at it. I was just good at trying. And trying again.

Although I did manage to get some way along the line towards the intended, what I really wanted remained illusive. It was such hard work that even with a small measure of achievement I would be feel frustrated and fed up.

Any feeling of satisfaction was minimal up against the frustrations involved. In some respects I might have been better doing the normal thing, taking what was on offer. Well, not really.